I connected with a co-worker and he proposed a lunchtime rendezvous. I'm married, but for some reason, this seemed "ok" to me. Truth be told, my husband doesn't care about this anyway. Problem is, one thing led to another, and co-worker and I fell in love. I stayed with him for a few weeks and it was rather dramatic. Husband didn't see THIS coming, and was NOT ok with it. Long story short, I came home.

Ever since - for six months now - former co-worker (I quit the job) has been emailing my husband, letting him know that this is not where I want to be. There's a lot more drama and craziness involved, but essentially, I care about both of these men. A big part of me wants to leave and give the new relationship a chance, but an equal part of me doesn't want to hurt my husband any further, or lose the comfort of our lengthy marriage. We do have kids - both grown, but living at home. They're fully aware of the situation, and not pleased with me, of course. I'm scared to even contact the "new guy", because he always reports it to my husband as "evidence" that I want to be with him, and I don't want to rock the boat if I'm not prepared to swim. But... I cannot get the new guy out of my head and it's driving me crazy and tearing me apart.

What have I gotten myself into? How did I get here?

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