Secrets about Funny & Humor

 

Oops

I sent that 3 times in a row oops my bad :\

Lol

Today me and my friend Alicia and my cuzin Rain we didnt want to go to recess so we went into the bathroom and every time we heard someone come we ran into a stoll and we wrote are names on the stoll that we went in each time so that we knew which one to go in and every time one of us went in to the wrong stoll we would count to 5 and say switch and we would go to our stoll.

After I came out of a friend's birthday party, I had to...

After I came out of a friend's birthday party, I had to cover my mom while she took a piss behind the car cause she couldn't hold it and couldn't move. I would have died if someone saw.

Forgot to wear knickers

Today I went to school but forgot to wear knickers

Starkit's Prophcy

I recently read the notoriously terrible Warriors fanfiction Starkit's Prophcy, and by the end I was honestly more interested in what was going on with the author than with Stargleam/Gleamstar/Satrglaem.

This isn't a super interesting secret/confession thing, but I felt like putting this somewhere, even if most people won't get the joke.

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Pool

One time I was just swimming in the pool when my great grandmother pointed to my boobs I looked down and my nipples were showing out of my bathing suit!!!

away

When I was 9 I tried to run away and I was walking down the street crying when my grandma took me back home. I don't even remember why I ran away. If anyone who wants to run away is reading this font just don't.

I'm Weird

So, I met this guy on Twitch.. He's absolutely amazing. I love everything about him. x3 Heh heh <3

My friend this morning farted loud enough to wake my baby...

My friend this morning farted loud enough to wake my baby brother. she laughed out jello that she was eating... it was a mess. she was 2 rooms away from the baby.

Hole in the wall.

So my sister and I were wrestling and I by mistake elbowed the wall and made a huge hole, so we covered it up with a poster. My parents still haven't found out. But they will sooner or later I guess.

boyfriend and husband

I recently told my husband that I wanted to divorce and now that we're looking into getting a divorce. I have met somebody new however the ex-husband still wants to do things with me sexually where I don't want to. however I do have this feeling, this need, this want for my boyfriend to come inside of me than me come home to the ex-husband and have him eat my pussy clean not knowing that I had just fucked my boyfriend and he is tasting him come.

Nobody knows

My family and I moved to Italy last summer, but we only speak English and Russian. So, when one of my classmates knocks down my water bottle for example, I curse him/her in Russian but they don't understand.

example:

classmate:*knocks down wate bottle* Sorry!

me:*in a calming voice as if I'm saying it's okay* f*** you asstow *smile*

classmate:*smile*

I went up to my boyfriend and jokingly covered his nose...

I went up to my boyfriend and jokingly covered his nose with my mouth because he was ignoring me. He continued to ignore me so I blew and it came out his mouth. He claimed it was freeing then pinned me and did it to me. We spent about five minutes blowing in each others noses. That was 6 years ago...now we are married.

Every time I see a sign that says...

Every time I see a sign that says "slow children at play" all I can think is how rude it is to call them slow.

My mom thinks I'm a virgin

My mom was teen mom and thinks I've never had sex but the truth is I have! And I don't mind lying to her every now and then so she doesn't hate me!

I think I finally Lost my sanity.....or something strange happening

So, I think I lost it. A few nights ago I heard bells outside my bedroom and my cat heard it.....I looked out window right away and no on was there. It like...da fuq? Then another night guy was staring at me through my window....he doesn't live my apartment..... so Idk what going on.....but yeah....freaks me out just a bit.

My dad

I'm a girl and I was hanging out with my dad he had asked me if i had ever had a crush on a girl i said no and then he said "i totally see you having a girlfriend"

Sex with another Girl

I'm a 15 year old girl and I had sex with another 15 year old girl, aka my girlfriend. She my ex now but still.......I'm a f+cked up little Grudge b-tch

what I do when I'm alone

i sit in my room i do kareoke and sometimes my lttle bro walks in danceing with peanut buter in a ninja costume

Drunk me

Once when I got so drunk I told a Stop sign to, and  quote," Square Up." Because I was going to super slice spin high its tummy open till it got out of my way, and got lost.

Drunk me is pretty funny.

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